While your co-geeks may out this as a simple math trick, most people unable to recite pi past the decimal point will be amazed. It also has the advantage of requiring almost no physical, sleight-of-hand expertise.

1. Set the deck—from the top down, it should read 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, A, A, A, A (the numbers in any suit and all four aces).

2. Shuffle, being sure not to affect the top 12 cards (yes, this is a cheap trick).

3. Ask an audience member to pick and state a number between 10 and 20 (not 20!).

4. Taking one at a time from the top of the deck, count that many cards into a face-down pile on the table.

5. Ask your dupe to add the two digits of his/her number and state the sum.

The metric system rocks, right? And that's because it's an organic system of measure, derived directly from the circumference of the earth, right? And hasn't been subject to any malingering, gerrymandering, finagling or other debased punking by dirty human hands, right? Um, not exactly.

There are many mediums in which evil spirits may reside (most notably dwellings, persons and computers), each requiring its own specific rite of exorcism. The steps enumerated below deal specifically with human exorcism, or ridding the body of an undesired spirit/demon possession, in the Roman Catholic tradition.

Note: before performing an exorcism, evaluate the subject’s potential for violence (with the strength and malignity of the possession in mind), and restrain accordingly, usually with ropes, straps or duct tape.

Note II: The following ritual may or may not work with computers, depending on operating system and waterproofing. Still, it may be worth a try.

1. Priest is dressed in cassock, surplice and purple stole.

Many geeks adhere to Stiff Paper Theory (SPT), holding that frogs made of expensive company letterhead will jump higher than those made of flimsy copy paper. However, while SPT adds giddy-up to any origami amphibian, it also adds weight. The trick is to find a paper that offers the happy combination of high spring at low weight.

In this regard, linen papers tend to under perform; so too do cardboard mailers, as they lead to bulky, bullfrog-esque hoppers.

In addition to shark attacks and boredom-related deaths due to mid-season baseball, the summer months are the time of food poisoning. If you live in Florida or California, you should be especially vigilant, as you are susceptible to all three (the most baseball teams, the most shark-infested beaches, and—according to the CDC—the most restaurant outbreaks of food poisoning, with a combined 143 in 2007).

In all, the CDC estimates that food-borne diseases every year cause approximately 76 million illnesses, 325,000 hospitalizations and 5,000 deaths (salmonella alone costs the United States upwards of $5 billion annually in medical care and lost productivity).

One can only imagine the sheer volume of liquid effluvium generated by these 76 million people.

Calypso
The lonely nymph who waylays Odysseus for eight years on her island of Ogygia. Though the beautiful Calypso offers ease and even immortality, she is in fact selfish, caring only to alleviate her own loneliness. Watch out for self-serving kindness.

Cyclops
Polyphemus, the Cyclops, traps Odysseus and his crew in his cave and eats six men before Odysseus gets him drunk, blinds him with a wooden stake, and escapes with his remaining crew by hiding under sheep. Polyphemus, with his one eye, represents a person with only one point of view. Beware: If you are monofocused and that monofocus fails, you are SOL, just like Polyphemus.