How a society treats the disabled, especially those in need of specialized care due to aggressive behaviors and self-injurious behaviors, says a lot about the morality and compassion of that society. Are they locked away out of sight, left to live in horrendous conditions, abandoned not only by society, but by family members as well? The United States does not have a good record when it comes to the care provided to the mentally and physically disabled. From lobotomies to forced sterilization, from electric shock therapy and restraint systems that resemble the horrors of a torturer’s chamber, we as a society have wreaked havoc on those unable to defend themselves.

We grieve in our own ways and in our own time. Some of us push the losses into the dusty recesses of our mind and refuse to go there. Some of us cannot and remain in the immediacy of the loss, continually bombarded with it so that we are sucker punched throughout the day.

It's been a rough two weeks--tears galore, bright spots, strep, then mono, and days passed in bed, sleeping hour after hour, as if in a week, I managed to make up for 22 years of child-created sleep debt. I'm pretty sure there's still some sleep debt remaining, as I remain wiped out, with a shower and getting dressed this afternoon taking all the energy I had and depleting it.