Ah, life is good lately; can’t stop winning. Almost never recommend anybody, ‘cuz humans disappoint, but if I do, its winners. Remember that “Erectus walks among us” guy with his “Out of Europe” theory? Yep – that’s the one I recommended, the most despised of the low. I only recommend those who are near my level. Well, ok, that orange fat disappoint I endorsed for POTUS is obviously not anywhere near my level, but that’s another story – I knew he would win and I just love to “Told’yer so!”

Anyway, as a scientist who actually appreciates the scientific method – I know, silly loser right – anyway, as such a ridiculous screeching autistic, I of course don’t ever just cherry-pick whatever study comes along confirming my prejudice in this vast ocean of publish-or-perish nonsense we survive on producing. But actually, you know what, this is precisely what we scientists do all the time, and so I will do it now S.V. style, namely full on, f it, here I come, Leeeeeeroy. ‘cuz I am not in the mood performing the usual pretend BS that we are educated and trained to do, scanning the paper for something we can slightly expand on in order to seem as if we follow everything closely and all. Nah, screw it dude, let’s just do what we actually do and don’t read beyond the abstract, because my stance on “Out of Africa” has been unshaken by any peer reviewed ejaculates since age 10 or so. You see, as a 10 year old, you still have the potential to wonder “What? Out of Africa? And then? Aren’t we all out of the ocean, too? What even is the damn point, labeling a theory like that?”

You need learned stupidity, the kind that people with cushy academic jobs have, in order to be highly sensitive to what specific nonsense you are supposed to think. For example, “Out of Africa, oh, yes, sure, we advanced in a different environment, while those still in Africa are closer to our ancestors the chimps there” would be completely wrong! Yes, wrong (!), in spite of being the most straightforward interpretation of what “Out of Africa” could possibly mean, why people would insist on such.

Instead, established scientists, being the careerist boot lickers they are largely selected to be, think what they are supposed to, pure ideological idiocy: “Out of Africa? Like only a few hundred years, ah, wait, thousands, ah, many thousands of years ago? Oh, yes, I know how evolution works, but this is of course another matter now, so let us sing and dance: We are all the exact same, out of Africa we came! I am sorry you are different. It must be because I oppress you, sorry sorry! We are all the same, but only me to blame.”

Scientists worry about funding and pleasing, not about that “Out of Africa” migration patterns are opposite to what would happen and actually happened. See, animals don’t just go north all the time for no better reason but some population pressure that also exists already in the north, you see, but when it gets too friggin’ cold, you see, those bastards sure as hell like to shift their asses down south! And there they meet those who did not have their IQ boosted by evolving in the climate out of Africa for thousands of years or more. And then they go “Well, these guys down here are sure different; no close knit family structure as necessary for bringing kids through many winters; they instead rape a darn lot! And they sell their own brothers as slaves; well let’s just make the best of the situation and perhaps they even enjoy we bring them some higher culture.” This is how the ancient Egyptian culture was created and maintained by pale skinned people with European facial features – damn those racist bastards for producing pictures and writings that can survive thousands of years, telling us how they looked like and how they didn’t even allow the dark skinned to enter their cities for anything else but work, well, until they didn’t do that anymore and it all collapsed from diversity enrichment. Them Whiteys have been always racists, you see. Oh no! Wait, no, although this would support a point we are supposed to support, we are sadly required to dismiss all of this as completely mistaken racism. Sorry!

So, boom, more than 600 words mate. Finished! Oh, damn, I forgot to even quote the paper, ha ha ha – what a lousy wannabe. Well you know it already – you all have seen the sciencey bloggers scrambling to be first because tomorrow we need to suck up to the next distracting hype. I like to wait and then remind you again when you are already onto something else, to make it sticky long time what I like to stick to you, which is merely a fat self-important “Told you so”.

Ok, whatever, here is the paper: Jochen Fuss, Nikolai Spassov, David R. Begun, Madelaine Boehme: “Potential hominin affinities of Graecopithecus from the Late Miocene of Europe.” PLOS (2017) https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0177127

Oh, my style? Not professional? Yeah, screw that too. Once you touched certain truths, forget about appearing professional – helps you none no more. What a freeing experience though – writing again more like I enjoy writing, and then those who don’t like it can go do something to themselves, while there are perhaps quite a few who also enjoy me most just like this. Mmmmm. And that reminds me: This is post 2016, when people started putting relevant comments into comment sections – yeah, I know, what the hell guys – so of course many comment sections had to be shut down, for freedom of speech and democracy, you see, and apparently, mine is shut down, too. So if you like to tell me something relevant, please do so; I really like that, but you have to use email. It is somewhere up there or on my profile page or you find it on recent papers which you find about one article back or so.

UPDATE: Oh - I see - it is only I who cannot comment now, ha ha, even better. Well, anyway, it is true that the comments are 95% utterly useless and make you wonder about how people with such low reading comprehension even get to read stuff like this in the first place. Yeah dude, this article is all about that I just found this paper yesterday and that I think it destroys "out of africa", you know, my articles are all like this. Slap forehead, ...