Some Thoughts On Priorities

It occurs to me that in this modern age of demands for instant satisfaction of our wants and needs, the instructions to supervisors of refineries, explosives factories and nuclear power facilities need to be revised.

In order to satisfy the wants and needs of the greatest number of people in the shortest possible time, I propose the following order of priorities:

Instructions To Site Managers In The Event Of Emergency:

1 - send a personal message to every conspiracy nut on the planet giving full details of every aspect of the emergency that might give them cause for concern.  Do not forget to invite them to come to the scene of the emergency and take personal charge of the problem.

2 - send a personal message to every hack reporter who is not included in item 1, above, giving the same details and invitation as above.

3 - as above, but addressed to foreign politicians.

4 - as above, but addressed to domestic politicians.

5 - as above but addressed to relevant international agencies.

6 - as above but addressed to relevant domestic agencies.

7 - alert international emergency response teams.

8 - alert local emergency response teams.

9 - sound the alarm and evacuate the site of all non-essential personnel.

10 - tackle the source of the problem with all resources of manpower available, including - but only as a last resort - the personnel involved in the communication of information to the world at large.

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There we are. 

No more complaints about a lack of information in the event of an emergency.