College students who took out $200,000 in loans to get degrees in 18th century French poetry are hoping to get their stupidity waived before the 2024 election, but until then it's smart to look at jobs that are in growing fields.

Northeastern elites want to hire other northeastern elites and the magazine Newspeak took a survey of growing businesses and found that the top field hired by wealthy people in 2024 will be Rat Whisperer.

If you bought that New York City penthouse apartment from Jon Stewart for $17.5 Million when it had a market value of $1.8M an asset value of $800,000, you are not the victim of a victimless crime - if you are a Republican, anyway, it is just the free market when he does it - you just didn't know how to deal with rats.


Credit: MPI for Biological Cybernetics/ Kerr

And you are too compassionate to hurt them. That is where Rat Whisperers come in. An emerging body of evidence in epidemiology journals finds that Rat Whisperers who use no chemicals, but are instead a Facilitated Communication Kinetic Understanding practitioner who utilizes holistic wellness methods of compassionate home transitioning will be in demand.

Obviously they will hire more than French Poetry majors. Those with Peace Studies, Golf Management, and Theoretical Phys Ed degrees are strongly encouraged to apply.