So called experts, from organizations that oppose owning any pet that isn't a domestic cat or dog, are called in to testify. They agree, ban them all! They are going to take over the whole country like some sort of snake plague.
Unfortunately this isn't an old “Pinky And The Brain” cartoon, it's very real. More unfortunate is that it's all wrong! Burmese pythons are loose in Florida, along with monkeys, pigs, parrots, iguanas, parakeets, snakehead fish, house cats and a host of other animals that don't belong there. Yes, that's true. But unlike the pigs, monkeys, parakeets,snakeheads and cats, Burmese pythons can't handle even a moderate winter, they die. So the idea that they will be showing up in Times Square anytime soon is ridiculous.
They don't eat children, nor attack people out for a walk, (pigs will) and the numbers are at best unknown,and at worst grossly inflated. They do get big, but they are mostly shy animals and will run, as fast as is possible with no legs, from people. It probably is a good idea to have some form of permit system in place, but dogs are licensed everywhere and are still running loose and are much more dangerous to children than big snakes could ever be.
The furor was created from fear for the sake of ratings, to sell newspapers and TV commercials. The loose pig is actually more dangerous to crops, local animals and children, but loose pigs don't sell commercials; loose giant child eating pythons do.
We'll try again tomorrow night, okay Pinky?
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