WARNING!  Very bad joke alert.  Please engage brain before reading further.

Scoop!  Newsflash!  No Science At IPCC!

Following hot on the heels of recent news about emails, glaciers and rainforests comes a new discovery that will warm the hearts of climate change deniers everywhere.  It is indisputable fact that the IPCC does not conduct any research nor does it monitor climate related data or parameters.

This long-hidden truth can now be revealed thanks to your author's diligent research.  The fact that the IPCC does no climate research or monitoring has long been suspected by climate deniers.  Whenever an IPCC spokesperson has been asked at climate-change meetings if the IPCC actually does any original research or climate monitoring, the unhelpful response has always been along the lines of "rtfm."

Yes, instead of doing real experiments like any real scientist, these so-called 'scientists' at the IPCC simply regurgitate snippets from things written by other people.  I ask you - is that real science?  No, of course not.  They're having a laugh.

It gets even worse.  It has recently been reported by completely trustworthy sources¹
 that some of the garbage published by the IPCC came from the WWF, the World Wildlife Fund.  Wow!  The IPCC got some of its data from an agendist multinational organisation!  Yikes!

The IPCC would have us believe that the world's forests are endangered due to global warming.  Such a pity they didn't read the whole of the political pamphlet they copied text from.  It says that forests are in danger from fire.  That's right, fire!  They say that lightning causes forest fires.  Look, I went camping in the woods for two weeks once, and in all that time I never saw a lightning strike.  They must think I'm stupid or something.  Look: the biggest cause of forest fires is magpies putting bits of broken glass in their nests.  You want to save the forests?  By a 4x4 and a shotgun.

I can prove that the WWF is agendist.  Agendists are people who want to achieve a specific goal, right?  So, here it is, straight from the horse's mouth.  WWF's ultimate goal is to build a future where people live in harmony with nature.  Yeah, right!  Goodbye car, goodbye oil, goodbye power stations, hello stone age.

In case you don't believe what I say about the IPCC: it's true.  Again, the straight dope about the IPCC: it reviews and assesses the most recent scientific, technical and socio-economic information produced worldwide relevant to the understanding of climate change.
It does not conduct any research nor does it monitor climate related data or parameters.

Told you so!  "Socio-economic information".  Since when was that taught in school physics or chemistry?  "Relevant".  They get to choose what's relevant.  It seems that my time-lapse video of the tide going out and coming in for a whole year wasn't relevant.  My video proves conclusively that sea levels aren't rising.  As I expected, they just sent me one of those 'we'll get back to you' letters.  But they never did.  Well, we know why, don't we?

[1] various newspaper columnists.